Thursday, February 21, 2008

Superdelegates Have Been `Outed`!

In a stunning turn of events, a chain of occurrences which were open to the view of the masses brought to light the true scheme of things in the Holy Democratic Church--err--Party. The party who viciously attacked the GOP (the Republican Protestant Church) with allegations of "disenfranchising" voters, mostly the poor and minority voters, have themselves been shown to have a ghastly system in place to ensure that the votes of registered Democrats in primary and caucus elections won't deny the anointed presidential candidate from being crowned.

In case you didn't understand me, I'll state it in smaller words. Senator Hillary Clinton is the "chosen one". The big wigs of the Democrat National Committee have already decided that in the November 2008 general election, Sen. Clinton will be in the Democrat column on the "For President" line. If the little people among the backwards, poor, misguided masses vote for Senator Barak Obama, they just don't know yet that they are wrong.

Fortunately, there exists a means to correct this injustice: Superdelegates! These stalwart heroes and heroins were not elected by those misguided, poor, backwards simpletons who comprise the base of the HDC. The poor schmoes would foolishly elect delegates who would vote their way, not the HDC way. What do these peasants know about political obligation, and entitlement?

If my math is correct, each delegate holds the same influence as between 100,000 and 500,000 Democrat voters. That's a lot of influence. Someone should have kept this a secret. The general public is now seeing reports that the Senators are wooing them. Of course they are wooing them. Between 100k and 500k voters each!! Only an idiot would fail to throw her cute daughter at a college student who, at 21 years old, might be, uh, prone to persuasion. Why would they hold back from making a perfectly legal (maximum) contribution to the election funds of those superdelegates who are themselves running for some office? I don't have the exact figures, but $5,000 to $10,000 per electable superdelegate is pretty cheap for the potential return on that investment.

If you are a Democrat, and this topic makes your stomach churn, just a little, be of good cheer. Remember, your Holy Democrat Church is sanctified by the venerated spirits of JFK, FDR, and Harry Truman. The Democrat Party works in mysterious ways its wonders to perform. They can do no wrong, and will not allow you to do so, either.

I have little doubt the GOP is any better, but they keep it secret better.